Asymmetric Man-Thongs – Easily The Most Ridiculous Thing Ever

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Mens’ swimwear has gone horribly wrong recently with the introduction to “The C String” or also known as “Asymmetric Man Thong”. This is something only a few types of people can wear. Total self obsessed cock heads, overly gay and attention seeking guys, or perverts.

Here are some photos of some complete bell-ends wearing these banana hammocks with pride. Surprise surprise, it’s the tools from TOWIE.

 

This is Bobby Norris from The only Way is Essex wearing an asymmetric thong, with his boyfriend Harry Derbidge wearing a rather lovely white version. Brave man for wearing white. Bet it won’t be white later on!

twats from towie wearing a c thong

Positively awful. If you’re going for wearing something like that you may as well  just say “fuck it” and go naked. Or throw a sock on your cock instead.

twoie-twats-on-beach-in-c-thong

 

Here’s how it works.

You tuck it between your arse cheeks and it keeps your banana in place.

cthong example

As you can see, it doesn’t actually cover up the man’s meat and two veg very well. And if you have a big package, it will spill out from the banana hammock and make an embarrassing show of yourself!

Not only that, you have to have a shave. No one want to see a massive clump of pubes hanging out!

It doesn't actually do a very good job of hiding a man's private parts, which is one of the main roles of underwear.

I love how this guy is giving us a menacing look while showing us his tiny little clit for a cock.

But they do come in a variety of fun colours.

But they do come in a variety of fun colours.

Even British men are starting to wear them on the Beaches of Brighton!

assymetric-thoong-on-brighton-beach

Here’s what some reviewers have said about them.

Wearing them can be a bit tricky, as this proud thong wearer points out in an Amazon review:

When I first tried on my c-string, I thought there was no way it was going to work, however… You really have to play with the wire a bit. In trying to get a good fit, I found that making sure it was tight against the body “between my cheeks” worked out the best, the very tip of the metal also had to be bent towards the body to fit right. Having made these adjustments: it is very comfortable, even for extended wear.

And also be warned – you may unexpectedly “pop out” if you’re not careful, says this reviewer.

I was worried that the back piece would feel invasive, but it never touched my anus. The wire needs adjusting (all people are shaped differently?) but once adjusted it was rather comfortable. A word to the wise, though, after sitting for a while it fell out. Luckily, it didn’t fall out of my shorts, the front was still (more or less) secured, but the rear half fell out. I had to excuse myself to the restroom, so no big deal, but maybe not for everyday wear.

But it’s not a problem for super-toned (and super-modest) Phiction2:

I’m toned. Have an awesome ass. I’m not being nasacistic, just realistic. This product dosnt fit without glue in your ass crack. If you don’t mind that type of thing, by all means! Buy every color they have.

 

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