1. Penis Wine
Apparently, potions containing deer penises are believed to enhance the “male sexual power.”
I can see the logic, because eating Usain Bolts sneakers will make me run fast!
Drinking cock juice will no doubt increase blood flow to the vital organ. One particularly potent variation, known as “three penis wine,” is made with the cocks of dogs and seals, as well as deer. Nice!
Some guys from National Geographic tasted the three penis wine, and said that it’s “creamier” than wine made from mice. Funny that.
2. Frog Juice
(“frog juice”), also known as “Peruvian Viagra.”Rana y maca is made in Lake Titicaca in Peru from a frog called Telmatobius coleus. The poor frog is taken from an aquarium and is bashed to fuck against a counter until it is dead or unconscious. Then if that wasn’t enough, the frog is then liquefied in a blender with bean broth, honey, aloe vera, and maca. They then strain the liquid to make a starchy milkshake type drink.
This drink is again made for the men in the hope that it will make them better in bed. Dirty bastards!
Oh and when you drink it, it stings your throat, as if drinking a frog wasn’t bad enough!
3. Bust Up Drink
Made by Kinohimitsu J’pan BustUp Drink, this drink claims to enlarge breasts without surgical methods or medication. A bit far fetched don’t you think?
Ads for the product claim that it remedies small, dull, sagging and shrunken breasts caused by deficient growth, aging, menopause, childbirth and breast-feeding.
4. Cow Water
“Cow water” is a clever bit of branding for a drink made from “Cow Piss”
India’s leading Hindu cultural group came up with the idea of gau jal (“cow water”) which is meant to be a “healthy” alternative to soft drinks. Fuck that! I’ll have a diet coke any day of the week over that!
Hindus have long worshiped cows for their life-sustaining dairy products, but Ayurvedic tradition also holds that bovine urine and feces can be used to cure ailments ranging from liver complaints to diabetes and cancer. What’s the problem with just drinking milk?
They have been trying to sell this in countries like USA and UK, but the only place that they can sell it is in Italy, where they sell is as “acqua di vacca.”
5. Bird’s Nest Drink
A Chinese drink made from limy, lumpy endangered bird vomit, which helps make your skin smoother and younger looking. No thanks! I’d rather drink Carlsberg Special Brew and look like a tramp.
6. Panda Poo Drink
A Chinese entrepreneur is hoping pandas will do for tea what the civet did for coffee. An Yanshi, a calligraphy professor at Sichuan University and a complete dickhead, is growing green tea in the shit of pandas.
Sichuan is home to the Ya’an Bifengxia panda base, which houses 80 captive pandas. An markets his creation under the name Panda Ecological Tea, which is divided into three grades and sold in a limited edition of 21 50-gram (1.7oz) packages.
The highest grade was offered for 440,000 yuan (US$72,000) per kilogram, 10 times the cost of a rare 1960s box of Wu-Yi narcissus oolong tea from Hong Kong. At the presentation of his new tea, An, dressed in a panda suit, said that pandas absorb less than 30 percent of the nutrition from their food (bamboo), and that the remaining 70% of the nutrients is passed out in their feces, making his panda poo tea both nutritious and delicious.
7. Liquid Smoking
“Liquid Smoking,” is a drink which by no means a surprised, failed on the drinks market. Manufactured by the Dutch, United Drinks and Beauty Corporation, claimed would take the edge off of nicotine cravings for between one and four hours.
The drink was popular in the Netherlands, was launched in the United Kingdom in 2008 as way to help smokers beat that nation’s recently enacted ban on public smoking. United Drinks’ CEO Martin Hartman is reported to have said that the product contained no nicotine, but got its craving-fighting effects from a mix of South African plant roots, which gave “a slight energizing effect, followed by a euphoric sense of calming and relaxation.”
The drink itself had only 21 calories per 275 ml can, but Liquid Smoking came in for immediate criticism mainly for its packaging looking like a pack of Marlboro cigarettes.
8. Rainbow Beer
A Japanese bright blue beer which comes from seaweed extract. They do a green version (spring-inspired green Shiretoko Draft) which uses fermented seaweed.
9. Bacon Maple Ale
Bacon, lovely. Beer, amazing! Maple, excellent on pancakes! Put them all together and you get……a fucking disgusting drink that would only be drank in extreme emergencies.
10. Curry Water
The Japanese are weird! Don’t get me wrong, I love curry, but in water? No thanks!
11. Eel Soda
Again, the Japanese are fucked up to even think of this, let alone make it!
12. Final Fantasy Potions
13. Mother’s Milk
Yet another Japanese drink. Breast milk. Because normal milk is weird!
14. The Jew’s Ear Juice
This is not what you think. It’s not racist or anti-Semitic. It’s a Chinese drink made from a mushroom juice made with Black Wood Ear mushroom, which is also called jew’s ear.
15. Bottled Water
Canned bottled water. Mind. Blown.
16. Cheese Drink
When eating cheese isn’t enough, why not melt it down, mix it with some water and drink it.
17. Salad Flavoured Water
Believe it or not, this was released by Coca-Cola back in 2004. Their were 6 different flavours of salad to choose from.
18. Kid’s Beer
Get your kids to practice being a pisshead from an early age with “Kid’s Beer”
A non-alcoholic drink for kids to be just like their alcoholic Fathers. The bottles are colored brown to give it that authentic look of a normal bottle of beer. The drink started out as Guarana, a cola beverage that used to be sold at the Shitamachi-ya restaurant in Fukuoka, run by 39-year-old Yuichi Asaba. Asaba renamed the sweet carbonated drink Kidsbeer, a move that made it an instant hit.
19. Pizza Beer
Developed by Tom and Athena Seefurth in a home brewery in Campton Township, Illinois, these to mentalists thought it would be a good idea to filter pizza ingredients into perfectly good beer. That’s right, tomato, garlic, oregano etc is put into beer. Great. I’ll have a crate please!
20. Baby Mice Wine
You sick fuck! Fancy using baby mice, when there’s plenty of adult mice about to make a tasty wine beverage!
21. Instant Regret Chilli Vodka
They really know how to sell it to you. “Instant Regret” is basically what you’ll get after drinking this disgusting bottle of hate!